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Love In Islam

Logically speaking, it seems Love in Islam means different things to different Muslims based on lived experiences, upbringings, and socialization during critical developmental stages. I acknowledge that it would be unfair for me to illustrate Love in Islam in a specific/limited way, as that would be ignorant and possibly even dismissive of the alternative perspectives of various other fellow Muslim individuals who have a different take or perhaps even a different worldview influencing their views on their Islam. The following are some personal insights I have on what Love means in Islam. Please note that I am not an Islamic scholar. I’m merely a believing Muslim whose soul deeply resonates with Allah (swt) and Islamic spirituality.

“Can you remember who you were before the world told you who you should be?” – Charles Bukowski

Firstly, I will try to discern Islamic perspectives on romantic Love (i.e. thoughts on love and subsequent matrimony in the Quran) from various cultural perspectives on Love. Sometimes Muslims and/or mainstream media confuse what Love means in the cultures of various Muslima with what Love means in Islam, leading to this on-film stereotype of Muslim women ‘feeling oppressed’ by her ‘narrow-minded family’ and then being ‘saved by some random white boy’ which then leads to her ‘regaining freedom by adopting a set of all-western ‘anti-modesty’ social ideals, which is all quite frankly and ironically, the most manipulative, often unwanted, damaging and suffocating of ‘Muslim stereotypes’. I won’t deny that in various cultures (irrespective of religion), Love is seen as alluring and sinful with insight from elders paramount to whether one person is allowed to wed the other. However, it’s important to note that Halal Love is so very welcome in Islam and doesn’t come with strings attached. Love, if approached through very honest and halal methods and without much influence from family traditions and cultures, is a blessing from Allah (swt). 

From what I’ve learned thus far as a young adult firm on my Islamic spirituality is that any Love (romantic, familial, halal or haram, etc) not grown on the foundation of wishing to please Allah swt (to abide by what is halal and avoid what is haram) often painfully doesn’t last too long or if it does, it often leads to a heart-wrenchingly bad heartbreak or worse, an unhealthy relationship.  

“Your trauma is not your fault, but healing is your responsibility” – Unknown 

For Muslims ‘believers of Islam’ like myself, it seems most often true that a loved one who doesn’t fear the Almighty is a test from Allah swt at the very least. From personal experience, those who don’t believe in Allah (God) and/or do not have any sort of acknowledgment that there is a greater source of power (above humanity) tend to most often turn to their desires and passions to guide them forward in life. A life with desires and passionate trials-and-errors as one’s guide is dangerous because, from my own learned experiences, embarking on a weak spiritual state (however brief in time) where your soul is very vulnerable and open to the temptations of this Dunya and more often to the wishes of the Shaytan and/or djinns is a dark tunnel that the hearts of some individuals unfortunately never survive. It’s easy for one lost in sinning to believe Allah doesn’t love them anymore or would not want them due to their sins. But if we continuously repent, regardless of what kind of sinner we each are, Allah will respond with goodness. If you do good, be it in matters of Love or not, good will be done for you in return by the bestower of all Love (the Almighty). Most often, the Almighty Creator places love for us in the heart of certain fellow creations who He believes are good for us, especially if we pray that He does so or when we remember to express gratitude to Allah (swt) when He blesses us in such ways.


“Do not be afraid; I am with you all the time, listening and seeing” (Quran 20:46)

Furthermore, I believe it is also important to note that Allah never moves away from us. As is human nature, it’s us as human beings who move away from Allah sometimes, either during moments of hardship when sabr (patience) grows tiring or during moments of blessing (when we neglecting to thank the Bestower of the blessings). But each time we do remember Allah (be it through the formal prayers, think, reflection, etc), it’s important to see such remembrance as a rejuvenating gift for our heart and soul from the Almighty. 

Verily in the remembrance of Allah (swt) do hearts find peace” (Quran 13:28)

“No matter how hard we try to ignore it, the mind always knows the truth and wants clarity”  — Toni Morrisonfrom God Help the Child

We must remember that as we go through or are going through overwhelming storms of emotional pain, the teacher of life (Allah) always remains silent. When we remember Him, we are given the blessing of knowing we are not alone. Therefore, even if those we love decide to turn on us, abandon us or are taken away from us by Him through death or redirection, He never leaves us. Whereas Love from fellow creations is mostly fleeting or conditional based on fear and other such emotions, the love from our Allah swt is unconditional and present even when our Imaan is fluctuating and weak, or when our hope is very low. 

“Allah wants to accept your repentance” (Quran 4:27)

If you wish to delve deeper into the various layers of creation-led dialogue around the meaning of Love in Islam, I strongly recommend that you look into the work of various Muslim intellectuals, especially outspoken and halal-empowering Muslim women such as Ustazah Nor Bahya and Ustazah Asma' Harun whose respective thoughts may inspire you to greater spiritual depth and introspection. 

Best of wishes to you and yours, for not only a month but a life enriched with halal and healthy Love insha’Allah (love for the sake of Allah).

Source : Unknown

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